we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
