Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
