you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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