he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
