i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
