I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
try to milk me bitch
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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