I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
