Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
