just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
