their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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