I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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