Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
