You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
