about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
