im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
