Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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