I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
