You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
