I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
