IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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