Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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