Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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