So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
