How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
