nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
