four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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