theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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