I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
