He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The Olympian is in my bed
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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