Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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