Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
