this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
