Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
