It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
