but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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