i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
