forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
zippers are such a cool invention
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
