I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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