you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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