Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
