Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
