Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
