Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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