K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize