Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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