i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
