he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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