Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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