dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
