I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
