dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
