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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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