How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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