the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
