Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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