honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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