He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
