It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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