So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
