And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
