just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
