bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
