This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
