I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
