i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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