I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
