She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
