Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You took a bar mat shot.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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