My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
