drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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