I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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