shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
