I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
