Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
