I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
