Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
