He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
