I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize